When PTSD comes, it turns your whole life around. One minute I was a woman with a successful career and an interesting life, full of travel, fun and love. The next I’d change into a fearful, frightened person, frozen and hyper-vigilant, scared of shadows and waking in the night with nightmares.
I’d been working in international organisations, often in conflict zones, dealing with presidents and foreign ministers, giving interviews to international media when crises hit. My life was wound up with my career, but I knew that really I was running – running away from the difficult years of my childhood: from the years when I was forced into a sexual relationship with a controlling, possessive and difficult adult.
I found Click Therapies at the point where life became really difficult. I chose them because of their expertise in working with combat veterans, and because it would allow me to work in English without having to travel.
I accessed my first online video sessions with great apprehension. This was something I had carried for a long, long time; a dark hole in my soul that had left me with periodic bouts of physical pain and with a constant feeling of inadequacy, sadness and ….yes, trauma.
Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a strange process. The idea that a sequence of eye movements or taps – much easier online – can cure years of trauma is an unlikely one. And yet, it works. Chris, my therapist, gently guided me through all the steps, always by my side, reassuring me. It took a total of two months for me to rid myself of ghosts that had haunted me for years. I realised how much my body had held onto – physically, mentally and spiritually – and the sessions gave me the skills I needed for my brain to be able to process the past and give me the calm knowledge that my future is one of power, independence and choices.
It is not an easy process. I was wise enough to give myself time, and lucky enough to be on a break from work at the point I took the therapy. But it is truly miraculous how, with the help of Chris and his expert team (including Bella the dog!) I so very quickly found the path back to health.